Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Finding Hope In the Midst of Deep Heartache

Oh, how do I begin to update when so much time has passed since my last post?  I guess I can start at the beginning:

We had a wonderful trip to Colorado.  It had been a year and a half since our last visit and it was so nice to see friends and family.  We had a trip that was jam packed with activity, but we enjoyed our time there.  

We have finally gotten back into the rhythm on school and the kids are doing great.  They are usually quite eager to learn and I am thankful for their patience as I try to work through getting everything done with each of them being at a different spot in our curriculum.  One of their assignments was to memorize the fifty states, with the older kids memorizing that capitals as well.  I must say that I am quite pleased with the effort that some of them have shown with this.  My five year old has promptly memorized twenty of them and I am encouraging her to push through with learning 10 more.  My 9 year old son had all the states and capitals memorized withing the first two days.  WOW!  is all I can say.  Now, the question is whether or not he will continue to remember them.  I learned them in seventh grade and once they test was over, they quickly fell out of my brain.

I came across this today and thought it had such a biblical ring of truth to it:

Boys play house, men build homes.
Boys shack up, men get married.
Boys make babies, men raise children.
A boy won't raise his own children but a man will raise someone else's.
Boys invent excuses for their failures, men produce strategies for success.  
Boys look for somebody to take care of them, men look for someone to take care of.
Boys seek popularity, men demand respect and know how to give it. 

I hope that the men in your life will find encouragement from it.  I was thinking of printing it out and hanging it in my boy's room.  A thought to chew on.

On a more serious note, my heart has been extremely heavy as of late.  So much so, that the Lord has kept me up through the night several times.  My heart has been so overwhelmingly burdened that all I can think of to do is to pray.  This time of prayer is the only thing that has kept me from losing hope as I have been confronted with the heartache and pain that hangs heavily upon the earth.  

It all started with the news of the little girl in China that was run over twice and ignored by 18 people before someone finally came to her rescue.  It broke me heart and the Lord bombarded me with other heart rendering images and realities that have left me on my knees and weeping...crying out to the Lord to return and to end the heartache and suffering.  

We are so protected from so much of the hard reality of the baseness of the human condition  here in America.  The news decides what we are to be exposed to, the media glamorizes death and we turn our eyes away when we are faced with what we fear.  It is not serving us well in the body of Christ, to not fully take in what is happening in the world as the Lord prepares for His victorious second coming.  Our prayers cannot avail much if our hearts are nonchalant or we claim ignorance to the sin and pain that is tearing this world apart.  

We have all known heartache and felt broken, but it can be so easy to heal enough to hide from the pain and then become unwilling to acknowledge the pain that still remains, in our own lives and in the lives of others.  We are so blessed as a nation in so many ways and the Lord has sheltered us in the mighty shadow of His wings as believers from the raw pain that is nonstop in the world that He created.  However, His conviction has seared my heart and mind with the images of the suffering souls that are with Him, are left behind and are lost to Him.  We need to be in humble prayer, crying out to Him and leaning only on Him and preparing for His return.  We need to be willing to acknowledge our sins and our need for Jesus.  We need to be aware of what is going on in the lives of others and opening our eyes to the reality of how lost the world is without Jesus.  If we are willing to do this, we will recognize how short the time is before He returns and will share The Truth with others.

My reality right now is balancing the knowing with being hope filled and not being afraid.  I have had to wrestle with the enemy and the gut wrenching fear that has plagued me in the last two weeks.  I have had to wrestle with not losing hope in the face of such hopelessness.  I'm trusting in being victorious in this battle because I serve the mighty God of all creation and know I'm on the winning team.  I'm holding on to this as I trudge through the muck of sin, death, and pain that is a part of being human.  I am weak and am so thankful that He is strong.  It is his strength that keeps me from giving up and giving into hopelessness.  Maybe the Lord is waking me up again and more completely in Him.  A thought for me to ponder.  

I am so thankful for my children and the blessing of them.  They bring me so much joy and inspiration and are a continual reminder of the Lord and His love for all of His children.  As long as there are children, there is hope.  Their faith encourages me.  Their love is a wellspring for me.  Between the Living Word and my children, I know I will come out of this time of darkness a strong and wiser woman of God.

Be blessed and be mighty in your prayers.


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